The Infamous Twitter Thread


’nuff said

M. Edward (Ed) Borasky

As you may know, I’m migrating from Twitter to Mastodon for my microblogging platform. Twitter threads don’t port well to Mastodon, so I’m collecting “that thread” here.

The Bermuda Triangle was a pentagon until two of its sides mysteriously disappeared.

How many people can stand on the shoulders of a giant before the giant collapses?

Today in history 1952: Smokey Bear files the legal paperwork to change his middle name to “the”.

Markovs of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

Remember, if you’re traveling to Bactria, Hump Day is Tuesday and Thursday.

Q. What do you call an octopus and a squid posting audio recordings on the web?
A. A cephalopodcast.

Every engineering manager ever: Don’t re-invent the wheel!
Python: Hold my package manager …

Schrödinger may or may not have had mice.

Wait - the token isn’t fungicidal? Never mind then.

Like a horse, a web app has a front end and a back end. I guess that makes me a back-end developer.

I changed my ringtone to the Toreador Song. Now I keep getting a Bizet signal.

Today in history 1324: William of Ockham shaves every man in Ockham who does not shave himself.

I can’t imagine why anyone would want to own a lib. We eat like pigs for openers, we have weird tastes in music, films and television, and most of us snore.

I’ve never seen a happy clam. In fact, most of them were pretty steamed.

Klaatu barada fuckit

I need to get a smart fridge - mine just flunked third grade for the second time.

Live long and pester.

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Blockchains.

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. But who wants more flies?

Remember, chopsticks and forks had the same requirements document.

Today in history 2010: The Chief Marketing Officer at Imodium is fired for choosing “Get Your Shit Together” as the new slogan.

Follow the monkey.

There is no Ivanka. There is only Zuul.

My sign is Sagittarius - half man and half horse. Guess which half is horse?

I took my inner child to “Take Your Child to Work Day”.

Paradigm (n) - a nickel short of a quarter

Stand-up comedy - because man does not live by dread alone.

I skated where the puck was going to be and Wayne Gretzky hit me with a hockey stick.

I had dinner at a chicken bar last night. Man, I had no idea drunk roosters could be so obnoxious.

My poltergeist can beat up your zeitgeist.

Has Shark Week jumped The Fonz?

Am I as tired as I look?

Wait … I’m supposed to put my pants on one leg at a time? Since when?

Q. Who invented the non-Von Neumann computer architecture?
A. John non-Von Neumann.

Adam Smith’s invisible hand just gave me the invisible finger.

If a snake in the grass is an asp, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?

How the Hell can the lion sleep with all those people singing “A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh” at the top of their lungs?

This is my twelfth rodeo.

Millennials are killing me softly with his song Killing me softly with his song Telling my whole life with his words Killing me softly with his song …

Q. How do you know when a pineapple is ready to eat?
A. It picks up its knife and fork.

What do you call a horse with no name, anyhow? “Hey! Horse?”

If you’re dining out on a budget, many restaurants serve free gluten.

Pondering the pandemonium of pontificating pantheism to ponderous pandas since 1987


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For attribution, please cite this work as

Borasky (2022, Nov. 21). AlgoCompSynth by znmeb: The Infamous Twitter Thread. Retrieved from

BibTeX citation

  author = {Borasky, M. Edward (Ed)},
  title = {AlgoCompSynth by znmeb: The Infamous Twitter Thread},
  url = {},
  year = {2022}